at 4am

i long to do something meaningful, that can really help this world..
i must give something in return, since i am too lucky to own too much stuffs..
not sure how i gonna help..
i cant help much, but like the starfish story, at least i wanna help as much as i can..
and wasting time is definitely not helpful, but it is currently the biggest part of my life..*slap*

why is it so hard to practice even when we know so well that what shall we do?
life is too short, time flies too fast..
no reason to waste time, no reason to whine and emo and depressed over small things..
but why..
this moment i tell myself to go and do something that i should be doing, then I still sit in front of the computer staring blankly at the screen..
if I could change my life, there is only one thing that I would like to change..
turn me into a disciplined person, please..

why still give me this chance when i do not know how to make full use of it?
i snatched someone's chance of getting education, i snatched someone's chance of having three meals, i snatched someone's chance of being loved and to love..
and yet, i am not appreciating..
how unfair is this world.. why do i deserve to own so much while they have got nothing?
i know what should i do to make myself feel better.. and to make them feel better at the same time..just imagine your mom gives your fav cookies to your brother and he threw it on the floor.. but if he enjoyed the cookies, you will feel better, at least slightly better..

appreciate, study hard, spend wisely, do not waste, and love people around me..

i know, i really do..
and i wish, i can really put what i know into action..
i have too many dreams, and i have to start to make them come true..
then i know they will come true.. if only i am willing to work hard for them to come true..
i am lucky to know what i want, although i am not doing what i want.. but knowing what i want is more important isnt it?

[nah la english post =P]